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Thread: Natalie Schaefer (And the 'cheese balls' story!)

  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by cleanskull View Post
    I know I aint gonna ever eat them little thangs agin.
    You're probably right. I Googled Planter's Cheez Balls and they don't make them anymore. People all over the world are outraged. I wonder if it has anything to do with NS's episode with them?

  2. #52
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    Hey Guys. Jefe came and got me. I have to say, your theories are much more gross than the real deal. This is the story, as I recall it. I posted it quite a few years ago.

    Did you know that Findadeath turns 10 this year?

    someone I know went to Natalie's house on Rodeo Dr. to interview her. As I recall, he was brought to the swimming pool, where Natalie was doing her daily laps. He sat at the table beside the pool, and Natalie proceeded to leave the pool, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap - in her 90's. she sat down at the table across from him, dripping wet, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap, and proceeded to pop Planter's Cheese Balls into her mouth. The lovely orange coating on her teeth added incredibly to the scene, and the orange crumbs gingerly tumbling down her scarred chest was the topper. The interview began then.

  3. #53
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    Oh my.............LMAO at how the mind tends to wander with theories of the unknown. YOU GO Natalie!!!!! RIP

    JUSTICE FOR CAYLEE
    Rest in peace sweet baby Caylee. The world loves you and will see to it that you get the justice you deserve.

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    As always Scott you come through for us.

    Oh no how can I now get that image from my mind? Pour me a drink will you?
    Last edited by PvN73; 02-23-2008 at 09:11 AM.

  5. #55
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    That's more strange then gross. Orange teeth, LOL.
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  6. #56
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    Thank goodness you posted that, Scott! I kept checking back... lol
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    Reminds me of the joke about the guy that went to his doctor. doctor asks him whats wrong. The guy pulls his trousers and skivies down and his pecker is bright orange. The doctor goes WTF and starts asking him about his lifestyle. The guy says "Actually Doc, I don't get out much, I mostly stay in watching porn and eating cheeseballs".

  8. #58
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    Sheesh, that was really mild compared to the horrifying scenarios I was coming up with, fueled by all my demented friends here.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Michaels View Post
    Hey Guys. Jefe came and got me. I have to say, your theories are much more gross than the real deal. This is the story, as I recall it. I posted it quite a few years ago.

    Did you know that Findadeath turns 10 this year?

    someone I know went to Natalie's house on Rodeo Dr. to interview her. As I recall, he was brought to the swimming pool, where Natalie was doing her daily laps. He sat at the table beside the pool, and Natalie proceeded to leave the pool, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap - in her 90's. she sat down at the table across from him, dripping wet, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap, and proceeded to pop Planter's Cheese Balls into her mouth. The lovely orange coating on her teeth added incredibly to the scene, and the orange crumbs gingerly tumbling down her scarred chest was the topper. The interview began then.

    Any pics?

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Michaels View Post
    Hey Guys. Jefe came and got me. I have to say, your theories are much more gross than the real deal. This is the story, as I recall it. I posted it quite a few years ago.

    Did you know that Findadeath turns 10 this year?

    someone I know went to Natalie's house on Rodeo Dr. to interview her. As I recall, he was brought to the swimming pool, where Natalie was doing her daily laps. He sat at the table beside the pool, and Natalie proceeded to leave the pool, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap - in her 90's. she sat down at the table across from him, dripping wet, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap, and proceeded to pop Planter's Cheese Balls into her mouth. The lovely orange coating on her teeth added incredibly to the scene, and the orange crumbs gingerly tumbling down her scarred chest was the topper. The interview began then.
    That paints a picture that is quite gross enough. I suppose it must have been a good laugh to see the twisted theories on this thread. It really confirms what a demented bunch we are !! lol


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  11. #61
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mrs. Watson View Post
    Sheesh, that was really mild compared to the horrifying scenarios I was coming up with, fueled by all my demented friends here.


    LMAO - ditto!

  12. #62
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Michaels View Post
    ...This is the story, as I recall it...
    Thank you, Scott!





    But I am a little disappointed by it

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    Thanks for saving us from out imaginations, Scott!

  14. #64
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    God, poor woman, she probably thought the whole scene was completely normal. Well, there goes the theory that regular exercise prevents dementia.

    On a more important note, did Planters really stop making cheese balls? I could have sworn I had some on my last trip to Laughlin. In the meantime, Frito-Lay does make a slightly smaller equivalent called Cheetos Meteors or something to that effect. They come in a plasic container that's about the same size as Pringles containers, have several varieties such as puffed, crunchy, flaming hot, super flaming hot and limon flaming hot. I cannot handle the flaming hot ones, but they are my oldest son's favorites.
    Any day above ground is a good day.

  15. #65
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    "Sheesh, that was really mild compared to the horrifying scenarios I was coming up with, fueled by all my demented friends here."

    ---I know, right? I was the one talking about how flammable they are/were....man we were way off base.

    I can picture Lovey with orange teeth and scars but I'm still not ready to watch the Gene Simmons sex tape. I've decided to forego watching it and just skip right to the part where I drive hot stakes into my eyes. Old Naked Lovey is enough.
    .
    .
    "So, what, no fuckin' ziti now?"

  16. #66
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Michaels View Post
    Hey Guys. Jefe came and got me. I have to say, your theories are much more gross than the real deal. This is the story, as I recall it. I posted it quite a few years ago.

    Did you know that Findadeath turns 10 this year?

    someone I know went to Natalie's house on Rodeo Dr. to interview her. As I recall, he was brought to the swimming pool, where Natalie was doing her daily laps. He sat at the table beside the pool, and Natalie proceeded to leave the pool, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap - in her 90's. she sat down at the table across from him, dripping wet, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap, and proceeded to pop Planter's Cheese Balls into her mouth. The lovely orange coating on her teeth added incredibly to the scene, and the orange crumbs gingerly tumbling down her scarred chest was the topper. The interview began then.
    Did the interviewer have to throw up first, or just start into the planned list of questions? "So, how's life treating you these days?"
    Any day above ground is a good day.

  17. #67
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    Thank you Scott for telling us!! Why oh why did NS swim and do the interview topless???? Was she that off her rocker or didn't she care? In any event that was gross enough for me, I'll never eat cheeseballs again.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Michaels View Post
    Hey Guys. Jefe came and got me. I have to say, your theories are much more gross than the real deal. This is the story, as I recall it. I posted it quite a few years ago.

    Did you know that Findadeath turns 10 this year?

    someone I know went to Natalie's house on Rodeo Dr. to interview her. As I recall, he was brought to the swimming pool, where Natalie was doing her daily laps. He sat at the table beside the pool, and Natalie proceeded to leave the pool, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap - in her 90's. she sat down at the table across from him, dripping wet, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap, and proceeded to pop Planter's Cheese Balls into her mouth. The lovely orange coating on her teeth added incredibly to the scene, and the orange crumbs gingerly tumbling down her scarred chest was the topper. The interview began then.
    My feelings can best be expressed in song as sung by the Hallelujah Chorus




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    Quote Originally Posted by geekygirl View Post
    God, poor woman, she probably thought the whole scene was completely normal. Well, there goes the theory that regular exercise prevents dementia.

    On a more important note, did Planters really stop making cheese balls? I could have sworn I had some on my last trip to Laughlin. In the meantime, Frito-Lay does make a slightly smaller equivalent called Cheetos Meteors or something to that effect. They come in a plasic container that's about the same size as Pringles containers, have several varieties such as puffed, crunchy, flaming hot, super flaming hot and limon flaming hot. I cannot handle the flaming hot ones, but they are my oldest son's favorites.
    They are yummy. That's the only kind I ever see.

    You don't mess with friggin Dave Coulier click here to mess

  20. #70
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    But what would have been worse, cheez balls or oreos? I mean, orange teeth are way more psychadelic (therefore cooler) than black teeth. She'd have looked like a methed-out scarred geriatric patient.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mr.wanttohaveitall View Post
    Thank you Scott for telling us!! Why oh why did NS swim and do the interview topless???? Was she that off her rocker or didn't she care? In any event that was gross enough for me, I'll never eat cheeseballs again.
    Well, I suppose when we reach the ripe old age of 97, we too can do whatever we damn well please !!! lol


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  22. #72
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    I think in my case it will involve cheesecake.

    You don't mess with friggin Dave Coulier click here to mess

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    Quote Originally Posted by RaRaRamona View Post
    I think in my case it will involve cheesecake.
    Now I want cheeseballs AND cheesecake.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lisalouver View Post
    Now I want cheeseballs AND cheesecake.
    Oh well that's just disgusting!

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  25. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaRaRamona View Post
    Oh well that's just disgusting!
    LOL, in hindsight I might have to take it back.

    Maybe just some cheese and crackers for tonight.

  26. #76
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    Quote Originally Posted by motherogod View Post
    But what would have been worse, cheez balls or oreos? I mean, orange teeth are way more psychadelic (therefore cooler) than black teeth. She'd have looked like a methed-out scarred geriatric patient.
    I vote for Cheez Whiz and Oreos! I had a friend in the early days of my glorious career in Civil Service who was trying to get transfered because he hated our boss. The problem was, he did good work and our evil boss, whom we referred to lovingly as "The Nazi Enema Nurse," wouldn't let him transfer out. So he started brushing his teeth with Cheez Whiz and would eat a handful of Oreos right before every meeting with her. Shortly thereafter, she let him go.
    Any day above ground is a good day.

  27. #77
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    I thank you too, Scott, for the story. The cheese balls aren't as grose as the topless part.

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    How did Chester Cheeto beat her out as spokesperson?

  29. #79
    Yeah, I have to admit, that was a little bit of a letdown. Nauseating nonetheless, but I was expecting some like, crazy Gilligan's Island cast party involving something similar to Winona Ryder and the ping-pong balls in the South Park movie...

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    Thanks for the lowdown, Scott. It wasn't as near as bad as I thought it would be. I guess @ 90 and you don't have anything but scars where your boobs used to be, topless isn't such a big deal. Now if she still had her originial boobs and was topless, THAT would have been gross! (Twohunglo)
    I guess because I work around the elderly crowd, nothing they do surprises me anymore. All I can think of is: "hey, I'm not that far from being in the same boat they are and who knows what I'll do to make my life easier."
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  31. #81
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    Quote Originally Posted by JefeStone View Post
    I'll do it
    Our Hero!

    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Michaels View Post
    Hey Guys. Jefe came and got me. I have to say, your theories are much more gross than the real deal. This is the story, as I recall it. I posted it quite a few years ago.

    Did you know that Findadeath turns 10 this year?

    someone I know went to Natalie's house on Rodeo Dr. to interview her. As I recall, he was brought to the swimming pool, where Natalie was doing her daily laps. He sat at the table beside the pool, and Natalie proceeded to leave the pool, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap - in her 90's. she sat down at the table across from him, dripping wet, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap, and proceeded to pop Planter's Cheese Balls into her mouth. The lovely orange coating on her teeth added incredibly to the scene, and the orange crumbs gingerly tumbling down her scarred chest was the topper. The interview began then.
    I'm slightly disappointed. I thought for sure it would have been something a lot more disturbing. The least she could have done was sniff the cheese balls up her nose, into her mouth and then chewed them! Ya know like some people can do with floss or spaghetti noodles?

  32. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Michaels View Post
    Hey Guys. Jefe came and got me. I have to say, your theories are much more gross than the real deal. This is the story, as I recall it. I posted it quite a few years ago.

    Did you know that Findadeath turns 10 this year?




    someone I know went to Natalie's house on Rodeo Dr. to interview her. As I recall, he was brought to the swimming pool, where Natalie was doing her daily laps. He sat at the table beside the pool, and Natalie proceeded to leave the pool, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap - in her 90's. she sat down at the table across from him, dripping wet, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap, and proceeded to pop Planter's Cheese Balls into her mouth. The lovely orange coating on her teeth added incredibly to the scene, and the orange crumbs gingerly tumbling down her scarred chest was the topper. The interview began then.

    Happy Annivesary, Scott ! What are you going to do to celebrate ?

  33. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by cleanskull View Post
    Reminds me of the joke about the guy that went to his doctor. doctor asks him whats wrong. The guy pulls his trousers and skivies down and his pecker is bright orange. The doctor goes WTF and starts asking him about his lifestyle. The guy says "Actually Doc, I don't get out much, I mostly stay in watching porn and eating cheeseballs".
    LOL!!!

  34. #84
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    That's hilarious, but I don't think it's that strange. When a famous person lets you come to their house for an interview, you have to kind of go with the flow. Some women who beat breast cancer are proud of the scars and treat them as a badge of honor that they beat the disease, although I'm not sure why she'd just expose herself to a stranger either, unless she was hoping he'd offer her a quickee or something.

  35. #85
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    Bummer

    I can honestly tell you, my imagination involved Natalie and some cheeseball enema idea....EWWWWWWWWWWWWW

    I need some help.....next thing you know, it will be Jim Backus and coconut cream pie shampoo

  36. #86
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    Quote Originally Posted by JefeStone View Post
    Maybe a yeast infection?


    LOl ewwww

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    Wink Madge the Palmolive Lady

    I heard a comedian on the radio do a hilarious bit years ago, where he claimed to have bedded Madge the Palmolive lady...said in the midst of passion she screamed out, "...you're soaking in it!" lmao funny bit

  38. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDenz71 View Post
    I heard a comedian on the radio do a hilarious bit years ago, where he claimed to have bedded Madge the Palmolive lady...said in the midst of passion she screamed out, "...you're soaking in it!" lmao funny bit
    Welcome to the forum. Judging from this post, you'll fit in just fine with this wonderful group of people. Lmao, too.
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  39. #89
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    bump
    Suck it.

  40. #90
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    isn't britney spears a big cheese ball/ cheese puff fan?

    i can see her doing this in her 90's

    "Yeah, right. You just don't want to admit you take it up the tailpipe. LOL" - Mammy

  41. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by findadeathaddict View Post
    isn't britney spears a big cheese ball/ cheese puff fan?

    i can see her doing this in her 90's
    she sure is! and I bet she will outdo Lovey when it comes to strategic placement of le cheesepuff! no disappointment thar, I'm sure.
    Wow, that was some huge-open-mouthed-but-totally-straight-bromance greeting. (爆)~RaRa

  42. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Michaels View Post
    Hey Guys. Jefe came and got me. I have to say, your theories are much more gross than the real deal. This is the story, as I recall it. I posted it quite a few years ago.

    Did you know that Findadeath turns 10 this year?

    someone I know went to Natalie's house on Rodeo Dr. to interview her. As I recall, he was brought to the swimming pool, where Natalie was doing her daily laps. He sat at the table beside the pool, and Natalie proceeded to leave the pool, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap - in her 90's. she sat down at the table across from him, dripping wet, topless, double mastectomy scars, bathing cap, and proceeded to pop Planter's Cheese Balls into her mouth. The lovely orange coating on her teeth added incredibly to the scene, and the orange crumbs gingerly tumbling down her scarred chest was the topper. The interview began then.
    Good for her.. You GO, girl... This is the sort of post-surgical reaction that we try to encourage mastectomy patients to have.. It is the best, most healthy attitude possible...
    I'd kiss ya, but I just washed my hair...

    "Old age is no place for sissies" - Bette Davis

  43. #93
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    Interesting story. Just goes to show what a bunch of sick motherfuckers we all are.

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    Quote Originally Posted by DietCokeofEvil View Post
    Interesting story. Just goes to show what a bunch of sick motherfuckers we all are.

    Said with love people, said with love...
    And here I thought she stuck them up her hoo hoo!

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    Quote Originally Posted by warmbear View Post
    Good for her.. You GO, girl... This is the sort of post-surgical reaction that we try to encourage mastectomy patients to have.. It is the best, most healthy attitude possible...
    Ewww..Thanks Scott..but I guess this just proves how sick and twisted our Death Hag minds can go! LOL
    Zombie kitteh is Hungry!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by findadeathaddict View Post
    isn't britney spears a big cheese ball/ cheese puff fan?

    i can see her doing this in her 90's
    I can't see Britney reaching her 90s to be honest.

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    Wow, I read this story on FAD years ago as well, and found myself googling to find the answer as well! I had since forgotten until I saw this thread! Thank you so much for answering Scott!! You are the King of Hags!
    No on 8

  48. #98
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    Okay..Now, what's this about Marianne Faithful and a Mars bar? I LOVE her voice.
    peek-a-boo!!

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    If you think the image of Natalie and the Cheese Balls is disturbing, do NOT, under any circumstances, imagine what she'd do with a can of Cheese Whiz...


  50. #100
    Quote Originally Posted by opheliahardin View Post
    If you think the image of Natalie and the Cheese Balls is disturbing, do NOT, under any circumstances, imagine what she'd do with a can of Cheese Whiz...

    Ewwww!!!

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