Objectophilia - Sex with Benches, Tables, the Eiffel Tower and more...Oh my!

[Dying Breath]

http://www.nbc24.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=114123

I really don't care about anyone's sexual preference.. but I wonder if this guy was using potato salad as a lubricant.. and spreading honey on his buns for the ants to join in on the picnic .. just for that added touch of kink.

[ichabodius]

I fucked a mound of dirt in the woods once.

[SomeChick]

LOL

[Dying Breath]

Any locust hole in a storm....

[cindyt]

Hot dog rapes table.

[SinKittyVixen]

Umm, hmmph..I dont think I have words for this one...lol

[neilmpenny]

Some of those tables got nice legs.

[cleanskull]

Reckon thats why they call it a woody.

[cindyt]

I fucked a mound of dirt in the woods once.

I've fucked a few mounds of dirt, too; some of 'em were wearing cowboy boots.

[ad nauseam]

He should have just stuck with the inside table. That way, he wouldn't be in jail.
I don't give a fuuuuck what inanimate objects someone fucks. I just don't want them using mine.

[cindyt]

Some of those tables got nice legs.

LOL.

[ad nauseam]

I've fucked a few mounds of dirt, too; some of 'em were wearing cowboy boots.

*snicker*

[cindyt]

Reckon thats why they call it a woody.

ROTFL

[Queen_Death_Hag]

Wow wonder if he got any splinters ?

[SomeChick]

I've fucked a few mounds of dirt, too; some of 'em were wearing cowboy boots.

LOL

[smellslikealmonds]

I bet the splinters were a bitch...

[neilmpenny]

Snip....
I don't give a fuuuuck what inanimate objects someone fucks. I just don't want them using mine.

You have an inanimate object? Poor you.

[Forever-27]

The funniest friggin shit happens in Florida and Ohio .....

[knothere]

ill bring the picanik basket Booboo
dont tell the ranger

[ad nauseam]

You have an inanimate object? Poor you.

That's what my husband said.

[neilmpenny]

That's what my husband said.

[Dying Breath]

hahaha you guys are too much.. I actually have tears in my eyes from laughing

[Sharmika]

Ich, Neil, Ad and Skull?

I fuckin' love readin' your posts! New classics every time.

[cindyt]

hahaha you guys are too much.. I actually have tears in my eyes from laughing

Great thread, good times.

[Lita]

I fucked a mound of dirt in the woods once.

Somehow this does not surprise me.

Wow wonder if he got any splinters ?

LMFAO!

He tilts the metal round picnic table on its side and lays up against it and has sexual intercourse with the table.

How do you have sexual intercourse with a table? Doesn't the act of sexual intercourse include some kind of penetration? Never mind, I don't want to know. Where do these people come from?!? This is an anti-gay marriage person's worst nightmare. "Look out! You give them gays the right to get married, next people will be marrying their picinic tables!"

[Ghoulie Girl]

Reckon thats why they call it a woody.

That's freakin' hysterical!

[RaRaRamona]

Did you read the comments underneath the story? LOL

"
Offspring?

I wonder what the kids would look like?

— Rick James, Anywhere, USA

Charged

I found out what the charges were against this guy. 6 counts of being awesome!

— N M, Cincinnati

ryan lunn

that comment from ryan lunn from mason was horrific. I can't believe someone would even joke about this kind of thing. A man like that needs as much therapy as the man who got caught. I bet ryan lunn has tried something just as gross and horrible as that. what has our world come to, its all falling apart.

— gretchen miller, cincinnnati, oh

Table Love

There is nothing wrong with consensual sex between a man and his table. I do warn you to remove any glass tops as this severely scarred Ryan.

— Lunn's Table, Mason, Ohio

Sweet

Hey people don't knock it until you try it!

— Ryan Lunn, Mason, OH

man having sex with picnic table

I'm not really sure, who is more sick in the head, the man performing sex with a picnic or the sick person that's doing the video tapping???

— debbie smith, toledo, ohio

WTF?

You can't blame NBC24 for airing it...who is the sicko with the DVD's???? Who would actually sit there and watch him hump a table? It's always better to know who the pervs are and where they live.
I'm glad I know...just when I thought I have heard it all!!!!

— Jenn Ewwwwww, Toledo, Ohio

[cindyt]

Did you read the comments underneath the story? LOL

There is nothing wrong with consensual sex between a man and his table. I do warn you to remove any glass tops as this severely scarred Ryan.

— Lunn's Table, Mason, Ohio

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[RaRaRamona]

This one is my personal fave


Charged

I found out what the charges were against this guy. 6 counts of being awesome!

[ad nauseam]

This one is my personal fave


Charged

I found out what the charges were against this guy. 6 counts of being awesome!

that is the best. a+++

[Cathy J.]

Ten years ago a woman in our area swore she contracted HIV by sitting on a picnic table. This actually made our local paper and many people believed it !!!!!!!!!

Of course not long afterward, the woman's family told the press she had just been released from a local mental hospital. It figures !!!

The woman killed herself two years later.

[ichabodius]

Ten years ago a woman in our area swore she contracted HIV by sitting on a picnic table. This actually made our local paper and many people believed it !!!!!!!!!

Of course not long afterward, the woman's family told the press she had just been released from a local mental hospital. It figures !!!

The woman killed herself two years later.

Those Gays, Haitians, and Picnic Tables. They aughta do sometin bout em!

[RaRaRamona]

Ten years ago a woman in our area swore she contracted HIV by sitting on a picnic table. This actually made our local paper and many people believed it !!!!!!!!!

Of course not long afterward, the woman's family told the press she had just been released from a local mental hospital. It figures !!!

The woman killed herself two years later.

Maybe the table broke up with her & she was depressed? Seriously that is sad. I never eat on picnic tables. People have sex on them all the time. Like at night. I am so serious. I won't tell you how I know this.

[Mamma]

I just read this story on a news site, and ew ewww ewww EWWW EEEEWWWW !!!!

I mean, gah!

[ichabodius]

Well, next time your at a public park just don't eat anything thats fallen off your paper plate. It might have a secret sauce. Actually its more likely to have blood or feces but we'll stick to the topic here. (Like the dudes member was stuck to the table with man-goo..... sorry guys)

[RaRaRamona]

Um ya we gotcha there Ich don't feel like you need to over explain yourself.

[ichabodius]

I'm very descriptive. Can't help it.

[Dying Breath]

S'mores.. not your fathers oldsmobile....

[ichabodius]

Mmmm. Smores. GGLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHGHHHHH!!!!!!!

[Cathy J.]

Maybe the table broke up with her & she was depressed? Seriously that is sad. I never eat on picnic tables. People have sex on them all the time. Like at night. I am so serious. I won't tell you how I know this.

I dont eat on picnic tables either. between bird droppings and...the other stuff YUCK !!

For years we had a park that was opened 24 hours and many people were busted having sex there at night, lots of picnic table sex..and playground sex too. However most of those who were busted were STRAIGHT couples !!!!

I still remember our paper interviewing this middle aged married couple who was busted having sex at 2am in the park, "...we wanted to try something new" LOL

Today the park closes at sunset.

[Peter]

This was all a big misunderstanding, he was asked to come TO the table!

[Lita]

People have sex on them all the time.

And with them!

S'mores.. not your fathers oldsmobile....

Eeeeeeeeeeeew! lol

This was all a big misunderstanding, he was asked to come TO the table!

I just snorted! I haven't seen you around much Peter but I like you. That's awesome.

[Boxofpandoraz]

BELLEVUE, OH --Police say a man was arrested after being caught on a DVD and has admitted to having sex repeatedly with his picnic table.

Wait so...

He got freaky with a DVD too!?!?!?

Does the madness NEVER end?

[miz rosebud]

Reckon thats why they call it a woody.

LOL........some people...

[gleemonex]

A Gigi would've been much more discreet and less painful:
http://yourpassionconsultant.com/con...y/forhim01.php

Years ago when I was still living in Texas, I was hanging out at a friend's house with his boyfriend. My friend came crashing through the door (as he always made grand entrances) and asked his boyfriend if he had told me about the motel. My friend then proceeded to tell me there was this free-for-all cruising spot where people would have sex in public while others would go to gawk. Apparently the night before he witnessed a very large woman have sex with a very skinny man. My friend then basically herded us into the car so I could see this anonymous hook-up in action. We got to the motel and other cars had parked there waiting for that evening's show as well. And what did we get? Nothing. My friend was very disappointed, as was I since I was up for a good laugh.

[pogobean]

http://www.nbc24.com/news/news_story.aspx?id=114123

I really don't care about anyone's sexual preference.. but I wonder if this guy was using potato salad as a lubricant.. and spreading honey on his buns for the ants to join in on the picnic .. just for that added touch of kink.

Despite being very funny, it is still gross! Poor picnic table, lol!

[Aries65]

A Gigi would've been much more discreet and less painful:
http://yourpassionconsultant.com/con...y/forhim01.php

Years ago when I was still living in Texas, I was hanging out at a friend's house with his boyfriend. My friend came crashing through the door (as he always made grand entrances) and asked his boyfriend if he had told me about the motel. My friend then proceeded to tell me there was this free-for-all cruising spot where people would have sex in public while others would go to gawk. Apparently the night before he witnessed a very large woman have sex with a very skinny man. My friend then basically herded us into the car so I could see this anonymous hook-up in action. We got to the motel and other cars had parked there waiting for that evening's show as well. And what did we get? Nothing. My friend was very disappointed, as was I since I was up for a good laugh.

They have bars/clubs like that in San Francisco.

[Morbid1]

I fucked a mound of dirt in the woods once.

Hahaha!



Ich your insane!


-Morbid1

[pvezz]

Pool tables don't talk.

[Morbid1]

Pool tables don't talk.

And the height is just right!




-Morbid1