Questions for a recovering mortician

[Kimmy]

All the embalming stuff for burials is really interesting. I was a trainee embalmer when I first left school but not in the funeral trade. I worked in the local medical school and I also did dissections of human cadavers and have legally dismembered at least 6 corpses. Just thought I'd add my pennies worth.

[MorbidMolly]

This has got to be the most fascinating thread I`ve read in awhile ( says something about me ).....the whole idea of embalming really freaks me out.....I have watched many documenteries on it and it only re-enforces my belief that I want to be cremated.....is it true the the art of embalming largely came about as a result of the Civil War, when massive amounts of bodies had to shipped cross country......

[bluebear71]

thanks for taking the time to answer these questions. i am actually curious about cremation. when a person is cremated and the ashes are given to the family, i have always heard that the actual body is for the most part gone and what is packaged is mostly clothing and so forth. is that true?

[hlh004]

Originally Posted by Katie

Are the eyes and mouth sewn shut?

Ya i allways wondered that tooo....
Or glued?
And when my grandpa died, he had socks on.
Do you put shoes on? Haha. I just thought that was so amazing when I was 8. I kept asking why he didnt have shoes on lol.

[Aries65]

Originally Posted by bluebear71

thanks for taking the time to answer these questions. i am actually curious about cremation. when a person is cremated and the ashes are given to the family, i have always heard that the actual body is for the most part gone and what is packaged is mostly clothing and so forth. is that true?

No, not true! When my Mom was cremated, we got back a bag of ashes, and bone chips!

My mom was cremated wearing the clothes she died in - so the clothes were burned in the furnace.

I always thought ashes were just that - sort of what you see in the bottom of a weber grill. I think the cemetary didn't grind up her ashes well enough after they were done.

My sister and I made her husband transfer the ashes into an urn for us (the one we used to scatter her as sea) and I was just horrified at seeing the pieces of bones that poured out of the bag along with the ashes!

But oh well, what's done is done, and she's at pleace...

[xenaswolf]

I'd like your professional opinion on the reconstruction of Saddam's sons.
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/39323000/jpg/_39323645_11qusayudaycombo203.jpg&imgrefurl=http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/3097089.stm&h=152&w=203&sz=8&hl=en&start=4&tbnid=3Nj-u4S1gTck4M:&tbnh=79&tbnw=105&prev=/images%3Fq%3DSaddam%2Bsons%2Breconstruction%26gbv%3D2%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den

[bluebear71]

very interesting! thank you for the information Aries. And i am very sorry to hear of your loss.

[MorbidMolly]

My mom too was cremated and we were given a beautiful urn in which to scatter her ashes......we had 3 smaller urns for my brother`s and I to keep.....no bone chips at all.....our funeral director was very grapic ( at my request ) as to what would take place......after the initial " burning " they would grind the bone chips to dust.....sounds gruesome, but I really needed to know

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by Katie

Are the eyes and mouth sewn shut?

Never. Eye closure is achieved with "eye caps," which are like contact lenses with little spikes which "catch" tissue, and either Vaseline or Stay Cream to help keep things in place. Eye lids have a tendency to dry out very quickly, so something must be used to prevent them from dehydrating to the point of staying open.

Mouths are never sewn shut, in the sense that I suspect you're thinking. Occasionally, embalmers may have to use what's called a mandibular suture to keep the mouth closed--that is, keeping the mandible and maxilla together-- but it has nothing to do with the lips. Otherwise, an "expression former" is used to keep the mouth in proper shape, and occasionally we must use Super Glue to keep lips together, but that's not a common practice.

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by Aries65

Is it possible that some morticians use too much formaldahyde at times? Some of the viewings I've attended you smell it when you get close to the casket - or is normal that you end up smelling it anyway?

I don't think it's normal, but I'm a smoker--can't smell my own filth--and was around the stuff enough to probably not even notice it anymore. Actually, you should never smell formaldehyde.....it probably indicates leakage somewhere on the body. It's harmless, for the most part, but unnerving none the less.

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by MorbidMolly

This has got to be the most fascinating thread I`ve read in awhile ( says something about me ).....the whole idea of embalming really freaks me out.....I have watched many documenteries on it and it only re-enforces my belief that I want to be cremated.....is it true the the art of embalming largely came about as a result of the Civil War, when massive amounts of bodies had to shipped cross country......

It is true, although the Egyptians obviously beat us to the punch in "perfecting" preservation. Americans gained a renewed interest in the practice of embalming in 1861 when deceased Civil War soldiers needed to be shipped hundreds of miles back to their homes for burial. Prior to that, anatomists practiced embalming in order to study human remains to understand more about tissues, biological systems and anatomical make up. They didn't do it to make corpses pretty, though.

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by bluebear71

thanks for taking the time to answer these questions. i am actually curious about cremation. when a person is cremated and the ashes are given to the family, i have always heard that the actual body is for the most part gone and what is packaged is mostly clothing and so forth. is that true?

Cremation reduces remains to bone--pure calcium. Bone fragments are clearly visible when the process is finished. First the cremation chamber is meticulously cleaned of all debris with a very long and very tough kind of brush. Those fragments are then put into what's called a pulverizer, and ground into fine dust, which many people mistakenly call "ashes." Clothing would never survive the heat of a cremation chamber--around 1400 to 1600 degrees F or so--and all metal pieces, such as artificial hips, are removed with a strong magnet prior to giving the cremains to the family.

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by hlh004

Ya i allways wondered that tooo....
Or glued?
And when my grandpa died, he had socks on.
Do you put shoes on? Haha. I just thought that was so amazing when I was 8. I kept asking why he didnt have shoes on lol.

It's up to the family regarding shoes. I personally gave my father's shoes to charity and had him cremated in socks. People don't usually see the feet anyway, but.........you have every right to have your loved clad in his or her favorite shoes, boots, slippers, barefoot--whatever makes you comfortable--AND you also have every right to ASK to see their feet--the funeral director will open the foot end of the casket and show you the feet.

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by Harry in Connecticut

Can a family do the digging by hand, and make the casket at home? I asked two times. I hope I am not greedy.

I'm so sorry Harry for not getting to your question sooner than this. It is an interesting question because it raises a little known fact about mortuary law in the US.

There is NO LAW in the United States which requires you to use a funeral home for the final disposition of your loved one's remains. There may be LOCAL ordinances forbidding digging a hole in your back yard for human burial, and you could probably go to jail for just proping a body up against a burning stump ("mutilation of a corpse," they'll say,) but you can buy a casket anywhere or make your own at home--absolutely. You can transport the remains yourself to.........well, where ever. You can do all the paper work if you must, but I don't recommend it.

A book which outlines all the details of the legal requirements for every state is called "Caring For The Dead," by Lisa Carlson, and it is very detailed and meticulously researched.

[djdeath-hag]

MbalmR, please allow me to join the others in thanking you for your open willingness to offer your experience in this Q&A thread. Back when I was in college & thought that I wanted to go into your field, I worked for a small funeral home in N. FL. Something that you've just mentioned stands out, since every case that I observed & assisted with involved the "mandibular suture"....the use of which was the only thing that I found at all hard to witness...aside from the use of the trocar. My question may be more of just a comment but I'd presumed that all bodies being prepared for viewing were subjected to the manibular suture.

Then again....as I reflect on what I found unsettling....the prep of bodies after they'd been to their last "specialist" (the M.E.) was also fascinating yet creepy...to see such an empty cavity (after the bag of organs had been removed) for the embalming of the head & limbs. So....that brings me to another question/comment. (Not knowing if what I saw was standard practice or not.) What is the accepted practice for the bag of organs on a case where there's been an autopsy?

[rjbrasher]

Originally Posted by Aries65

No, not true! When my Mom was cremated, we got back a bag of ashes, and bone chips!

My mom was cremated wearing the clothes she died in - so the clothes were burned in the furnace.

I always thought ashes were just that - sort of what you see in the bottom of a weber grill. I think the cemetary didn't grind up her ashes well enough after they were done.

My sister and I made her husband transfer the ashes into an urn for us (the one we used to scatter her as sea) and I was just horrified at seeing the pieces of bones that poured out of the bag along with the ashes!

But oh well, what's done is done, and she's at pleace...

Yea my mom was cremated in june and i noticed her ashes wasn't a complete powder as I like it. I was mortified but was like wow at the same time which i think is totally f*cked up. But i was like this was once a human being that i loved dearly and now its a bag of powder and bones. They didnt burn my mom with her clothes, But she died in the hospital, so im assuming she was in her hospital gown.( i was 1200 miles when she passed, and by the time i got there to get her body released, it was too late for me to see her) I got her bag of clothes, including her socks and shoes. Wow really flipped me out was they stuck her toe tag in there. I think thats what pushed me over the edge that day.

[rjbrasher]

I have an interesting question.

If there was 2 bodies (one embalmed, and one that has not been embalmed) and they were both laying in a cool temp room or refrigeration. In one week, how bad would the non embalmed body be compared to the one that is embalmed? Granted I know each body is different when it comes to decomp due to probably meds, diseases, how they died..ect such. I was just wondering do embalming cut the decomp of a body down by half or so? Thanks so much for the help.

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by stevemr68

You said your husband was a funeral director. When my brother passed away I went to the funeral home with my family to go over all the details of the funeral. The funeral directory seemed more like a car salesman than someone that's working with a loved one. He went over different options and extras we could get. Like buying jewelry with his ashes in them. My question is this. Are all funeral directors like this? Do they get a cut if you were to buy some of the 'extras' he was offering? Since my brother was being cremated we had to rent a casket. The rental was $1000.00. To me the funeral business is just a huge scam to make money off people who are vulnerable in their time of need. I'm hoping this was just a bad funeral home.

I'm very sorry you had to deal with that kind of behavior when your brother passed away. I'm even more sorry to report that I think many funeral directors out there come across as used car salesmen. I don't know about other state laws, but in Wisconsin, it is illegal for a funeral director to receive any type of commission for sales on anything, be it caskets, flowers, urns, etc. Clearly, a funeral home is a business, so the owner hopes and expects to make a profit, but speaking for myself and my husband, since we are not owners, we get paid the same salary whether we successfully "sell the extras" or not.

My philosophy is always "give the family what they want; nothing more, nothing less." I have NEVER been comfortable "pushing" stuff on families who clearly don't want or need it. I'd make a LOUSY salesperson. There's just something about it that seems shameless to me, and that applies to any business: appliances, hair care products, insurance, lawn mowers or jewelry. People know what they want (although they may not always know what they need,) and it's not cool, in my opinion, to try to goad someone into spending more for something they didn't want in the first place just to line the boss's pocket.

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by djdeath-hag

MbalmR, please allow me to join the others in thanking you for your open willingness to offer your experience in this Q&A thread. Back when I was in college & thought that I wanted to go into your field, I worked for a small funeral home in N. FL. Something that you've just mentioned stands out, since every case that I observed & assisted with involved the "mandibular suture"....the use of which was the only thing that I found at all hard to witness...aside from the use of the trocar. My question may be more of just a comment but I'd presumed that all bodies being prepared for viewing were subjected to the manibular suture.

Then again....as I reflect on what I found unsettling....the prep of bodies after they'd been to their last "specialist" (the M.E.) was also fascinating yet creepy...to see such an empty cavity (after the bag of organs had been removed) for the embalming of the head & limbs. So....that brings me to another question/comment. (Not knowing if what I saw was standard practice or not.) What is the accepted practice for the bag of organs on a case where there's been an autopsy?

Thank you for the kind words. I feel honored to be able to answer these questions because all too often, people get their "mortuary knowledge" from B-grade horror flicks, and they are SO misinformed.

The bag of organs, or viscera, is generally treated with an extremely powerful chemical which acts to sanitize and preserve them. When properly done, the organs are scored, so that the chemicals can permeate all tissues, then the bag is carefully resealed and the organs placed back into the body cavity to go along with the deceased to where ever their final destination may be.

[bluebear71]

Thank you very much for the reply. This is a very interesting thread to read.

Originally Posted by MbalmR

Cremation reduces remains to bone--pure calcium. Bone fragments are clearly visible when the process is finished. First the cremation chamber is meticulously cleaned of all debris with a very long and very tough kind of brush. Those fragments are then put into what's called a pulverizer, and ground into fine dust, which many people mistakenly call "ashes." Clothing would never survive the heat of a cremation chamber--around 1400 to 1600 degrees F or so--and all metal pieces, such as artificial hips, are removed with a strong magnet prior to giving the cremains to the family.

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by rjbrasher

I have an interesting question.

If there was 2 bodies (one embalmed, and one that has not been embalmed) and they were both laying in a cool temp room or refrigeration. In one week, how bad would the non embalmed body be compared to the one that is embalmed? Granted I know each body is different when it comes to decomp due to probably meds, diseases, how they died..ect such. I was just wondering do embalming cut the decomp of a body down by half or so? Thanks so much for the help.

You are correct in your observation that all bodies are different, and the unfortunate answer to your question is that it's difficult to tell! A refrigerated body may be in excellent condition after one week, and the embalmed body could be right next to it, dissolving at a most unfortunate rate, if the embalming job was improperly handled, or if the remains simply refused to "take" fluid.

Embalming is NOT permanent, either. All bodies will decompose over time; how much time depends on several factors, such as the ones you already mentioned, and also depending on environmental factors (for example, if the body is buried in a wet environment as opposed to an arid one.) Honestly, you can dig up two bodies 40 years later (I don't recommend it) that were embalmed and buried at the very same time, and one might look like it was buried yesterday and the other might be a mess: a putrid puddle and a pile of bones. Embalming remains a somewhat inexact science, despite our best efforts at preservation, I'm afraid.

[MbalmR]

For Xenaswolf, please accept my apologies for not answering sooner. I wanted to take my time to study the photographs.

My opinion, given the sons' injuries, is that they don't look half bad. I think there is some room to assume that the embalmer could have done a couple of things to make the faces appear less "flat," but I'm sure the embalmer did all he could to restore the faces to a "life-like" appearance. Thank you for that fascinating link, by the way!!

[xenaswolf]

Originally Posted by MbalmR

For Xenaswolf, please accept my apologies for not answering sooner. I wanted to take my time to study the photographs.

My opinion, given the sons' injuries, is that they don't look half bad. I think there is some room to assume that the embalmer could have done a couple of things to make the faces appear less "flat," but I'm sure the embalmer did all he could to restore the faces to a "life-like" appearance. Thank you for that fascinating link, by the way!!

Hey no worries You've got lots of questions and I find all of them, both questions and answers fascinating! That was the only link I could find on the spur of the moment, but if I remember correctly it was said that the US Army did the reconstruction. That was the first time I had heard about mortician's wax and such.

[Aries65]

You've answered a few of my questions here already - and I just wanted to take a sec to say "Thank You!"

[Batmama]

Hi and thanks for answering questions for us.My question is kind of personal so tell me to mind my own business if you wish.I was just wondering if there was a person you worked on that really bothered you or stayed on your mind longer than others?Hope that makes sense.

[rjbrasher]

Originally Posted by MbalmR

You are correct in your observation that all bodies are different, and the unfortunate answer to your question is that it's difficult to tell! A refrigerated body may be in excellent condition after one week, and the embalmed body could be right next to it, dissolving at a most unfortunate rate, if the embalming job was improperly handled, or if the remains simply refused to "take" fluid.

Embalming is NOT permanent, either. All bodies will decompose over time; how much time depends on several factors, such as the ones you already mentioned, and also depending on environmental factors (for example, if the body is buried in a wet environment as opposed to an arid one.) Honestly, you can dig up two bodies 40 years later (I don't recommend it) that were embalmed and buried at the very same time, and one might look like it was buried yesterday and the other might be a mess: a putrid puddle and a pile of bones. Embalming remains a somewhat inexact science, despite our best efforts at preservation, I'm afraid.

Thats cool and thank you so much for feeding my curious mind

[OBX]

Mbalmer, this is a great thread and if nothing else should show how little info gets out. Thanks for taking the time and effort.

I have two questions, one related to embalming and one to the industry.

First, when my father died, he wasn't overweight, but he had what might be called a "turkey neck". Lose skin under the neck and really when he was alive it didn't seem that much. When he was embalmed, this area seemed to have been filled and it was solid and he looked like nothing I had seen in life. It was horrible and the funeral home tried to move the head around at different angles etc..., but nothing could be done. I thought it was a one-off, but my older brother was killed in an auto accident and a different home did the same thing. I'm not there yet, but if my neck skin goes the same way, should I leave it to avoid embalming and just go straight to cremation, so my kids don't have to look at dead balloon man?

Second, in Richmond, VA, a couple of the Funeral Homes that were like little chains (3 or 4) got bought up by a national funeral home corporation. Since that time, funeral prices have doubled compared to the price increase in smaller towns away from the national chains. Is this happening all over the country and it seems as if it would be price fixing the way they move in and buy the biggest funeral homes in the area and then jack up the prices.

Hope you can answer these and thank you for the thread. And congrats, I think you are the first stick on this board.

[auguststar]

Originally Posted by MbalmR

I don't think it's normal, but I'm a smoker--can't smell my own filth--and was around the stuff enough to probably not even notice it anymore. Actually, you should never smell formaldehyde.....it probably indicates leakage somewhere on the body. It's harmless, for the most part, but unnerving none the less.

I know exactly what they mean though. Sometimes when I open the caskets to prepare the visitation, the "formaldehyde-ish" smell is just overwhelming. Smells like my old high school biology lab.

[auguststar]

Originally Posted by MbalmR

allowing for the burial vault (which is required in most cemeteries in the United States.

I just wanted to make a note here. I don't know about each state's laws, but in this area (Missouri) the public cemeteries almost always require vaults, but the Catholic and some privately owned ones do not. I only mention it because my dad (who is Catholic) asked if vaults were required so I asked my boss and was surprised to learn that without exception in the neighborhood I live/work in, vaults aren't required in the Catholic cemeteries.

[firegilnotguns]

I haven't had any questions of my own (yet) but this is one of my most favourite threads on the board and have really enjoyed reading it - thank you so much for volunteering to provide answers to everyone's questions!

[geekygirl]

Originally Posted by MbalmR

Wardrobe requests are rarely as stupefying as what people will wear to funerals. You know, skirts any shorter they'd be scarves (I've seen more cotton at the top of an aspirin bottle) or the pants worn by two brothers at my very first burial.........plumber's crack on both sides of the bench. I had to STAND there trying not to laugh all the way through the burial rites! It was a true Christian test of fortitude for me.

I know what you mean. My aunt died in August and a 50-ish, out-of-shape woman came to the funeral in black short shorts, black tank top and black flip-flops. I could sort of understand if the woman were 20 or 30-ish and had a great body, or perhaps too young to know better. It was horrible. I was so embarrassed for her and still wonder what the heck she was thinking.

[geekygirl]

Originally Posted by MbalmR

That's a really good question! When an embalmer begins his/her work, one of the first tasks is to "set the features." This isn't quite as simple as it sounds. Oddly enough, the mouth can be especially tricky, because the goal is to get the mouth just right, and sometimes things like ill-fitting dentures or just not taking enough time to create a look of "peaceful repose" will ruin the whole thing. (If you know anyone who went to a funeral and said "grandma just didn't look right," the odds are that her mouth closure was not done properly.)

I've yet to run into a face that couldn't be made to look relatively normal again. One trick to creating a "smile" on the face of the deceased is to gently massage the outer corners of the mouth with two fingers, in an upward motion, while the embalming fluid begins to firm the tissues. My husband taught me that trick, and he's a master embalmer (30 years' worth of experience!)

I went to a visitation and the decedant had a broad smile on her face, although her lips were closed. It was totally freaky and I just assumed the family had requested this specific look on her face and that the mortician somehow threaded the insides of her cheeks to do this.

[geekygirl]

Originally Posted by rjbrasher

Yea my mom was cremated in june and i noticed her ashes wasn't a complete powder as I like it. I was mortified but was like wow at the same time which i think is totally f*cked up. But i was like this was once a human being that i loved dearly and now its a bag of powder and bones. They didnt burn my mom with her clothes, But she died in the hospital, so im assuming she was in her hospital gown.( i was 1200 miles when she passed, and by the time i got there to get her body released, it was too late for me to see her) I got her bag of clothes, including her socks and shoes. Wow really flipped me out was they stuck her toe tag in there. I think thats what pushed me over the edge that day.

When my Mom was cremated, her "ashes" looked more like kitty litter than anything else. But I was wondering, what happens to the gold fillings during cremation? Virtually every one of my Mom's molars were gold and just wondered what happened with it. Does it get mixed in with the ashes or does it melt and separate into a puddle that hardens up later? I think of Schindler's list where the people donated their gold fillings in order to sell all the gold collected. There is no way that I would ever want to see or keep the gold from my Mom's fillings, but one would think that a crematory could make some good money on the side if they saved the gold from all the cremations they do.

[firegilnotguns]

Originally Posted by geekygirl

I know what you mean. My aunt died in August and a 50-ish, out-of-shape woman came to the funeral in black short shorts, black tank top and black flip-flops. I could sort of understand if the woman were 20 or 30-ish and had a great body, or perhaps too young to know better. It was horrible. I was so embarrassed for her and still wonder what the heck she was thinking.

It cracks me up that the woman who came to the funeral like that thought enough to bother to dress in all black...

[ComputerGuy]

I just wanted to say thanks as well. I had worked Mortuary Affairs for The Air Force and have had to inspect remains, and ensure that uniforms,etc for our fallen airmen where within regulations, etc. Mostly contract funeral homes, etc. Very professional personnel I delt with.

Just a note on how it is a job, all the funerals we did in Honor Guard, I would critique and give grades because EVERYONE of those who served deserved OUR BEST and time. The last time a widow or family member will remember of their service is a simple little phrase, "This flag is presented by a gratefull nation for your loved ones faithful service"

[jester joker]

Originally Posted by Aries65

I was just curious about the look on dead people's faces? I've been to a few open casket viewings, and some of the people were smiling and others weren't.

Does the family request something like that, or in some cases does a person die with a look frozen on their face that you guys can't "fix"?

How about the ones that have glasses on? What's that all about? I guess that would be a family request too, no¿¿¿

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by Batmama

Hi and thanks for answering questions for us.My question is kind of personal so tell me to mind my own business if you wish.I was just wondering if there was a person you worked on that really bothered you or stayed on your mind longer than others?Hope that makes sense.

It DOES make sense, and it's a valid question. There are two people whom I've worked on that I'll always remember quite vividly. One was a poor young man who made a wise decision to walk home from a tavern after a night of drinking (as opposed to driving drunk,) and--brace for it--he was hit and run over by not one car, but TWO cars, driven by his friends who were driving home DRUNK from the same tavern!!! Those two numbskulls decided to "hide" his body in a ditch, hoping to conceal the accident, but they didn't get away with it. He was the father of three young children. I embalmed his remains, and my heart was sinking the whole time.

The other body was that of a young woman, the victim of a one-car accident on the highway. Her face was badly mangled. I told my boss to let me try to fix her, even though the family was requesting a closed casket for the public visitation (their plans were to view her first and then close the casket.)

I put her face back together with fine dental floss, (yes!!!) using a "worm stitch," which is sub-dermal, therefore, mostly invisible and easily camouflaged with wax and/or cosmetics. My boss was quite impressed, but more importantly, when the family saw her, they said "we want to keep the casket OPEN so everyone can see her." It sounds crazy maybe, but that is a HUGE compliment to a restorative artist/embalmer. Best compliment one can ever get. I felt very proud that day--proud of my skills (which I've always questioned,) and proud to do right by a family who deserved the very best I could give them.

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by OBX

Mbalmer, this is a great thread and if nothing else should show how little info gets out. Thanks for taking the time and effort.

I have two questions, one related to embalming and one to the industry.

First, when my father died, he wasn't overweight, but he had what might be called a "turkey neck". Lose skin under the neck and really when he was alive it didn't seem that much. When he was embalmed, this area seemed to have been filled and it was solid and he looked like nothing I had seen in life. It was horrible and the funeral home tried to move the head around at different angles etc..., but nothing could be done. I thought it was a one-off, but my older brother was killed in an auto accident and a different home did the same thing. I'm not there yet, but if my neck skin goes the same way, should I leave it to avoid embalming and just go straight to cremation, so my kids don't have to look at dead balloon man?

Second, in Richmond, VA, a couple of the Funeral Homes that were like little chains (3 or 4) got bought up by a national funeral home corporation. Since that time, funeral prices have doubled compared to the price increase in smaller towns away from the national chains. Is this happening all over the country and it seems as if it would be price fixing the way they move in and buy the biggest funeral homes in the area and then jack up the prices.

Hope you can answer these and thank you for the thread. And congrats, I think you are the first stick on this board.

A ballooned out neck is often a result of too much fluid volume at too much pressure, which is plain carelessness. There may have been a clot creating fluid to build up in the area, but the embalmer should have caught that. Sometimes when it's impossible to minimize such bloat during the embalming process, a rubber collar filled with either sand or cold water can be applied to bring down the swelling in the tissues over night as the chemicals have a chance to do their work.

Ah, the corporate chains...........there's a great deal of debate about them, partly due to their aggressive tactics, and partly due to how they've swindled family-owned businesses who sold to them out of millions of dollars' worth of equity with devalued stock. In some of the corporately owned cemeteries, many of their employees are paid by commission only, meaning they don't collect a paycheck unless they SELL something, and if they don't sell, they lose their jobs.

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by geekygirl

When my Mom was cremated, her "ashes" looked more like kitty litter than anything else. But I was wondering, what happens to the gold fillings during cremation? Virtually every one of my Mom's molars were gold and just wondered what happened with it. Does it get mixed in with the ashes or does it melt and separate into a puddle that hardens up later? I think of Schindler's list where the people donated their gold fillings in order to sell all the gold collected. There is no way that I would ever want to see or keep the gold from my Mom's fillings, but one would think that a crematory could make some good money on the side if they saved the gold from all the cremations they do.

Gold is a very soft metal, and if the fillings are not extracted prior to cremation, they will melt away.

[OBX]

Thanks for the answers. I have been hanging around all night waiting, see how popular you are?

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by jester joker

How about the ones that have glasses on? What's that all about? I guess that would be a family request too, no¿¿¿

I'm sure it must seem a bit silly at first.......bodies are laid out as if in a peaceful repose, and few living people that I know purposefully take a nap or go to sleep with their glasses on. However, if you're looking at your loved one for the last time, and they wore glasses most of their life, they'd look "funny" without them, so we generally casket the body with the glasses on. After the funeral, if the family is in agreement, we remove the glasses and donate them to the Lion's Club, which turns around and provides them to needy people in South America who can't afford proper eye care.

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by OBX

Thanks for the answers. I have been hanging around all night waiting, see how popular you are?

You're way too kind, LOL! Thank you for your interest

[geekygirl]

Thank you so much for starting this thread. It is absolutely fascinating, and I appreciate the fact that you are taking the time to answer everyone's questions.

Here's a couple of new ones:

What is the most bizarre, strange and/or stupid way that you have seen one of your decedents died?

Have you ever gotten any surprises with any of your decendents?

After work, do you smell like decomp or formaldehyde, as in similar to how Starbucks employees smell like coffee after their shift is over?

Last but not least (for now anyway), what happens to the blood/embalming fluid that is pumped out during the process? Does it go into the sewer systems or is it put into a separate container and treated like a biohazard?

[atlantis]

When my beloved stepdad died Christmas Eve 2006, he was emaciated beyond belief. He was over six feet tall and weighed 130 or 135 when he passed. But when we saw him at the funeral home two days later, he looked healthy. He hadn't looked that good in two years. His face was filled out and his color had been restored. Also when he died, one of his eyes wasn't all the way shut and his face was asymmetrical. When we saw him, I was shocked at how "normal" he looked. His eyes were properly closed and his face looked normal. I silently gave thanks to the people responsible for this. You people are a blessing to those grieving. The fact that my stepdad didn't look like "death" in his casket helped us all tremendously. And he loved to wear shades during life so we put a pair of his shades in his hands. And we had jazz and R and B playing over the speakers instead of funeral music. We were truly celebrating the fact that he had finally been released from the body that failed him and he was once again free. God bless you all that care and take the time to do such things. Kisses and hugs to ya......:-)

[MbalmR]

Originally Posted by geekygirl

Thank you so much for starting this thread. It is absolutely fascinating, and I appreciate the fact that you are taking the time to answer everyone's questions.

Here's a couple of new ones:

What is the most bizarre, strange and/or stupid way that you have seen one of your decedents died?

Have you ever gotten any surprises with any of your decendents?

After work, do you smell like decomp or formaldehyde, as in similar to how Starbucks employees smell like coffee after their shift is over?

Last but not least (for now anyway), what happens to the blood/embalming fluid that is pumped out during the process? Does it go into the sewer systems or is it put into a separate container and treated like a biohazard?

The most bizarre death I saw was a young man who sat down in front of a train to commit suicide. He'd had a fight with his girlfriend over a tea pot, and this was AFTER he'd been allowed to leave jail for the morning to go to a doctor's appointment, UNACCOMPANIED, an appointment he obviously felt no obligation to keep. Instead, he went to her apartment, and they quarrelled over the tea pot. Must have been a really SPECIAL tea pot.

One surprise from a decedent came to me during my internship at the Cook County Morgue in Chicago, IL. I had the dubious honor of treating the remains of a hermaphrodite.

After work I smell like cigarettes because I smoke so much that even the stench of formaldehyde can't overwhelm the stench of the smokes.

Drained blood goes right into the sewer system. Don't be too alarmed; LOTS of vile things end up in sewers, including some of my cooking. Everything is treated at the waste management facility, but to be on the safe side, buy bottled water. Not Aquafina, mind you........I'm told that's just tap water! (Is this true????)

[OBX]

Yes, Aquafina is just filtered tap water.

This is not an anti-smoking attack, but doesn't working on these people that have died of cancer and such make you more aware of health, not less? I would think you would be paranoid, if nothing else.

I quit smoking because I couldn't afford a $1 a pack, I don't know how people can even afford to smoke today.

[auguststar]

Originally Posted by OBX

This is not an anti-smoking attack, but doesn't working on these people that have died of cancer and such make you more aware of health, not less? I would think you would be paranoid, if nothing else.

It's funny, I've noticed that many people in jobs that would present them with the most evidence of the harm smoking can do are often the biggest smokers themselves. My mom is a nurse and she and nearly all the staff she works with smoke. Almost every fireman (or woman), police officer, and paramedic I've ever known smokes. Nearly everyone at the funeral home I work in (*ahem* including myself from time to time) smokes. My theory is that the stresses of these jobs are so overwhelming that we'll smoke to take the edge off and get through all the emotionally heavy stuff.

[Laurie]

That and I think to some degree smokers tend to be more accepting of the inevetable.

I smoke and frankly, there are worse things than dying earlier.

Dying a lot later for example.

[geekygirl]

Originally Posted by Laurie

That and I think to some degree smokers tend to be more accepting of the inevetable.

I smoke and frankly, there are worse things than dying earlier.

Dying a lot later for example.

My fear is that I would end up with COPD, emphysema,oral or pharangeal cancer and have a slow and painful death.

But yes, I agree, I think it has something to do with the stress. The nicotene also keeps you on your toes when you are dog tired.

[klondyke26]

Hello Mbalmer,

I am just curious as to where abouts you are in WI?